Sunday, August 23, 2009

Where to find prince charming??

Ok, so like I've stated before, my age is a disadvantage for meeting mister right (under the slim margin that there is a such thing).

The problem is not in the fact that there are no guys (well, the lack of good guys may be somewhat of an issue...) but in the fact that the forum to find a good guy is gone by this age. By now, most people have settled into nice comfy relationships and are happy with the current status or have gotten married.

These people have find their mate in a slim window of time that is the ideally perfect forum for such a thing to blossom. Either they have met the person in high school (where they see the person everyday and were able to be forced to be around the person in a sense which allowed them to get to know them) or they have met the person in college (same forum style). These places are ideal for finding relationships. After this time in your life has expired, its pretty much all luck based if you can meet someone after this and here's why (at least for me):

I DO NOT want to meet a guy at a club or a lounge. I compare this to a guy meeting a girl and falling in love knowing she is a stripper. She was doing it when she met you, so what makes you think she will stop (same rules apply for the guy). There's nothing wrong with the occasional going out with the boys to have a good time...but for the most part, the club rat is scavaging for more than just a good time....and you can't be mad if you already knew this beforehand.

Then, there's random various places that you may run into someone. The bowling alley, the mall, the bookstore...problem is that this is a one time encounter. For me, this is a problem for several reasons. 1: I like to get to know a dude and feel him out before I give him my number...otherwise you put yourself in a situation where the dude can be a lame and blow your phone up....and you are to blame for giving him your number. 2. This guy only has one shot to make a killer impression. Meaning you can miss out on something good easily or accept someone bad easily. I'd rather cut out all the guess work and have a few encounters to know someone before it gets to this.

Then there's work. Don't get me wrong, this is possible, but a lot of problems arise from this as well. If the two of you work immediately around eachother there's that too-much-of-a-good-thing issue. I love my space, and if you are constantly in my face this may be a problem (clause: for where I work now this is not so much of an issue as only 2 other people have 100% access to the office that I work in). Then there's the possibility that the two of you get in a which case its bad to have to work around this person and harbor ill feelings, bringing it into the place where you bake your bread....It could work...but its definitely dependant on the situation.

The only 2 places that could be ok to meet someone after school are still somewhat flawed...

1. church...but here's my problem with that: there's something that makes me uneasy by hooking up with someone in the Lord's me crazy....I'm just not comfortable with that one.

2. the gym...perhaps the best option....which possesses a lot of flaws as well. For the pros: if you go during the same time every week, you may start to see the same faces, and start meeting prospects. Its also a friendly forum...people are relieving stress so everyone's happy. Then, you know the guy cares about his well, win, win!...but on the flip side, you are all hot and sweaty and nasty...pretty much at your worst. On top of that, I can't find it in my heart to fully commit to the gym. Don't get me wrong, I respect the gym and what it means to a lot of just doesn't have the possibility to be that big for least right now. This is not only because I couldn't hold weight with two hands and a bar..but also because I don't have one of those addictive personalities. I easily lose interest in stuff... It appears its all lose, lose...especially when I'm paying by the month.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying finding a relationship after school is not possible... but, lets just say your chances are cut drastically. And this is where I am...

Here's hoping...


  1. Wow where do I start....

    I think your entire first paragraph is wrong.

    I think finding a mate after highschool/college is your best chances.
    At this age you are Mature now, you know what you want, and so should the men that you are around. (SHOULD)
    On top of that highschool is kinda phony imo as far as relationships, its more of a social status thing (atleast initially), besides a few exceptions (mainly the geeks and offense but its the truth).
    And college Has never really been the place to "settle down" Its more so the place to go wild! The people who do find mates in college, are usually not until their Jr, Sr, or Graduate years, and that is only becase of the enclosed spaces thing.

    As far as finding Love in the Church or in the Gym.

    I think Those are geniuine places for the simple fact, thats already a check to the same interest list for 1.

    Church You already know they atleast care enough to get up in the morning and go (regardless if they were up booty shakin the night before)

    Gym is also a dedicated since of personality.

    I'll be honest Im one of those gym rats, but nothing more turns me on about a girl who is trying with her fitness.
    Whether she is 80lbs or 280lbs, as long as your making an effort that is sexy to me!

    So you say at your worst, I say at your best, And alot of other guys think that as well.
    You would be amazed at how many guys will comment more on girls that are already working out. compared to when there coming in and going out of the gym in (work, dress, school) clothes.

    I think your biggest problem is your looking more into a female perspective of what guys think. instead of looking at it from a males perspective.
    Which you need to do. and vice versa for males to females

  2. You are missing the whole point of the blog though. I'm not saying that high school and college are the absolute best places, I'm just saying its much easier there because of the forum you are in, whereas when you leave, you aren't constantly around a concentrated group around your age anymore.

    I'd say 80% of the people I work around now are 40+ which isn't really the age group that I want to date in.

  3. In short, being surrounded by people your age = more options to chose from. When you get into the real world, its different.

  4. That makes no sense.

    when im in college i have a age range from 18-24 as you stated correct

    but when i'm out of college i still have an age range of 18-75 if I want, with more viable options because im not set to a particular setting

  5. GROSS!!! You are a liar AND you couldn't be more wrong...I want to see you date a 75 year old woman!!

    Anyway, I guess in a way its different for a female vs a male. For me, dating a man 20+ is creepy to me..I don't want someone that can kick it with my dad..thats just weird. For a guy, guys feel like the older woman is in her prime- so it is completely different.

  6. 1. If oprah was avail you best believe i'd be in it!

    2. Its not different, I mean men are just going to natually click sometimes no matter the age, (read my upcoming blog)

    I feel like dating a young chick is creepy but I am an exception, I may be falling into that creepy old man mode though these days.

    But I prefer an older chick. personally...

    I felt l ike when I was at college. even though there was plethra (sp?) of women to choose from, i felt like there is plenty more when I get out of college. Now yes I do have to find them, but i was just as anti social in college as I am now, so really what is the difference between finding someone in college and finding someone now. I sit in the same amount of people population as I did in my classes (which there were NEVER any potentials in my classes) except 1 maybe 2 my entire college career.

    Then again when your not looking that hard its not a huge deal, since Men are hardly ever loooking that hard anyway