So while I was in school in Tallahassee, I made good friends with a girl who has similar views on guys/problems with love. Although she is working on her master's at Florida State, we still keep in touch, and still air out our problems with all the guys that we meet. (she meets much more as she is in a better forum: see post below).
For the most part our complaints are all the same. The guys we meet for the most part are just not that committed to trying to make anything work. Either they are in it for the shallow male-based reasons, or they just don't put enough effort in it. I'd say 9 times out of 10, the guys that I meet simply are not consistent which is a huge problem for me. If we speak once a day or once a week, when that deviates girls notice. Most guys see no problem with this, and try to call whenever it becomes conveinant for them again...which is a problem. We need some type of consistency..yes, even if we are just talking. I digress... This is even if you can get it this far with a guy...
For the most part though, I think guys just play their cards to see what they can get. Back in the day, males were taught things....like how to treat people, how to respect people....they were taught that they should find a nice girl and settle down and make them their wife. These days, guys are only taught by television. They are raised watching videos and movies where they see a guy who appears to be cool, that has a whole bunch of girls around him. The only thing he has learned is that chasing skirts makes him more respected by his boys, and so this becomes his view of women and what she can mean to him. In this, they hold no value to love.
It creates (or has created rather) a society of many women willing to do anything to get a guys attention, and men who could care less about them. (don't get me wrong guys, the women aren't much better. The fact that they act so desperately is also not a good look....but they likewise were not raised to respect themselves and make a guy respect the chase). But, these men place more emphasis on their relationships with their boys, than a bond that they can form with a woman. So, in a society that is so progressive and forward thinking, do the parents leave to much of the life-teaching to outside factors? Have we become anti love?
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The rate of divorce and affairs made public is on the rise, which doesn't help the young generations in learning about relationships. Men think it's ok to have a mistress (especially when politicians, like the President of the Republic of France does openly with his wife and mistress), while women think that applying tons of makeup and wearing revealing clothing like the Playboy girls will get them men.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes down to it, the most important factors in raising (or finding) a GOOD man are his values, his friends, and his experiences. Family and friends play a HUGE factor in an individual's actions, while experiences add to that foundation.
These type of guys (and gals) do exist. The trick is finding one =)
GREAT POST Gina! I couldn't agree more!! Its like everything about the culture now is anti-relationship.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the hope = )